She's having a Baby!
What can I do to Help?
You are instrumental in making the birth process go smoothly.
Take this important job to heart!
1. Show excitement,
Encouragement and a positive attitude-
Believe that she can do it.
Never show anxiety, panic, fear or act in any way that tells her it's too much for her and you don't think she can do it.
If it is too much for her let her be the one to say so. Remember that when and if she does feel that way it is at the end of the birth process.
2. In early labor ...
In early labor remind her to
1. Eat
2. Drink
3. Rest
4. Shower
5. Keep her busy, active and distracted to pass the time
6. Ask her to let you know when the contractions begin and end when she wants to keep track of them (If it’s hard to remember try jotting down the times or use an app).
3. Pack up everything.
Make sure you both have everything need for the hospital so she doesn’t need to worry.
This includes food for you in case the labor goes long.
Its best if you eat before you head out but just in case pack sandwiches, fresh and dried fruits, and any snacks you like.
The cafeteria may be closed after the birth and she will likely be hungry.
4. Help! It's getting intense...
Look into her eyes and (hold on to her firmly but gently if you can) and tell her to breath with you.
Follow her breathing pattern if she is already breathing slow and deep, if not guide her into a slow breathing pattern.
(Do not let her hyperventilate)
Remind her of the positions that can help.
Massage her or press on her lower back while you breath together.
5. Pay attention!
Throughout labor do not use your phone or other technology unless she specifically asks you to. Focus on her.
Do not update social media with the labor progress- if you are sent home this can be embarrassing.
Wait till its all over and ask her permission first.
6. Cheer her on.
Remind her regularly what a great job she is doing.
Tell her that you know she can do it, how proud you are and remind her that the baby is finally coming.
Be sincere and stay in tune to which messages are helping her. Avoid any comments that seem to annoy her.
Words of encouragement can actually lessen the intensity of the contractions.
7. Be a team player.
Follow any birth coach or doula’s lead.
If she is at the top half of her body offer a foot rub or pressure on her knees.
If you are at the top half offer a massage or hold her hand and breath with her.
If you cannot, staying nearby and offering words of encouragement is always helpful as well as acknowledging what she is going through
"Wow, that looked like a strong one, you are doing amazing!"
Try offering to sing and dance, it can help her relax.
8. Back off.
Keep in mind it is common for some women to not want their husbands in their face or touching them during labor.
Do not be insulted, just take a step back and occasionally offer your (sincere) encouragement from the couch.
9. Offer nourishment.
Find out where the nourishment room is and offer to get her a cup of ice chips and a spoon, drinks, jello, broth or anything else she is allowed to have.
Make sure you eat and drink as well; some labors can take a long time and no one wants you passing out and taking her attention away.
(If she is hungry and is not allowed to eat do not eat near her.)
10. Pray
You are not alone. If you do not know what else to do, pray (say Tehillim). That definitely helps!
Every child begins the world again
-Henry David Thoreau